you

you do not know me
if you do not feel what i feel
if you cannot see what i see
if you do not bleed like i do
if you do not hurt
if you do not cry
cannot understand why
you confess the love
you feel you have then make me cry.
if you were different
then you would know
all that you say
all the toll
i'm only so strong
only so wise
living this love
living this lie.

SLAVE

We are slaves to the dollar bill.
There is no life with it, and there is no life without.
I never used to wonder what it'd be like without,
And always took for granted every dollar in my account.

I am a slave to the dollar bill.
This fucking piece of shit paper that entitles me to something.
I can't leave it at home. I need it to breathe.
I need it for the clothes that cover the physical me.
Greed is our will, and the more dollar bills the better.
We are judged.
I am judged.
My character is judged by my ability to make a fucking dollar.
I am a failure if I don't make enough.
I am scum if I don't make any.

Well guess what?
I don't make any.
I was treated like shit and left The Man.
So I am scum
And I am a loser
And I am a failure
For the inability to see it through
And I am an idiot
And I am nothing
Because now I have nothing
When before I at least had shit.

I am a slave to this disgusting world.
A world I am ashamed to live in
A world I am sickened to breathe in
The dream is the grind,
But I am behind.
With nothing to show for my menial life,
Except years of age from work and strife,
Nothing to give,
So why do I live,
In a life so unfulfilled,
Where I am a slave to the dollar bill.

one

The ring box closes sharply with the sound of a love abandoned.
He doesn’t wish to spend his life with her.
The smile disappears from his face.
He closes his eyes, all is black,
Sweet words replaced.
She walks backwardly out of the room.
Cold air surrounds her body.
Down the stairs, out the door
To place inside she’s never been before.
There is something missing.
Essence has gone away
For he has been long gone, all along,
The man she loved today.
Let’s rewind to a brighter time
When the world did seem sweeter,
And dreams were real again,
Just the way they were in childhood.
Smiles were new and love was good,
Fingers entwined perfectly together.
Promises were quickly made and believed and executed…
All except for one.
Back on earth again,
She so sadly remembers the chills inside her skin,
The day he touched her and she was whole again.
And a moment in time their eyes stared so deep,
She could hear God screaming their names for such a love to keep.
But somewhere along the way,
This love went astray.
One morning a smile appeared from a woman on his side,
But that smile did not belong to her.
Some time crawled by before it drove him insane,
Like the mere thought of bringing so much pain.
But born was the slightest presence of good consciousness,
And he knew what he had to do.
Thus came words that broke as glass and spilled as ink,
“I need to speak with you.”
Her heart sank into her very core,
This place inside she’s never been before.
Blood fell from her face and ran ice cold.
Barely feeling her own body stand,
Witnessing tears fall from the eyes of this man,
Every word spoken so distorted,
She could feel herself slip away with every passing second.
Knowing her life would never quite be the same,
Disregarding every memory before this news came.
Air seems scarce now and she can barely breathe.
With every ounce of strength she asks, “How could you do this to me?”
And with these words, what would become the last
The trees around her died and the sun promptly passed.
With a trembling body she fell to the floor,
Screaming for this love so bad, so bad and nevermore…
Upon awakening he was gone,
Leaving nothing but the echo of the ring box in her head.
Never had she wished reality to be a dream
For love was the dream and reality never needed to be.
He had turned his back,
Never looking back.
With clenched fists she silently prays,
“Please, oh please, just get me through this fight.”
And again it resonates.
Such an empty and lifeless sound,
The distant voice promising the sun,
Promising the world.
All kept but one.

created Thursday, February 23, 2010

the masochist

in your eyes i read a story
and it tells one of misdirected glory

you open to me with a certain trust
but masochist you stay so bloodlust

and i wonder constantly the reason why
you say you don't but still have her in your life

within yourself is a side unshared
i see it so clearly though it needs repair

if you took my hand i would show you the way
but time has changed the way you feel today

say you're sorry for wasting my time
since for you i put my heart on the line

but i will not take another moment of this
remember masochist that we discover what we miss.


created Monday, November 3, 2008

the first autumn

do you see what i see
when i look into your eyes?
hope, success, rebirth
and an old life's demise.

has anyone ever told you
of the greatness in your ways?
or the simple yet complex wish
to be around for all your days?

i so wish to illustrate
the colors in my heart
but fear stops me in its tracks
unaware of how to start

the worry of your mind
and where it rests now
corners my thoughts
yet exposes them somehow

i simply cannot suppress
all i desire to say
i ask for the strength,
can you help me this way?

lovingly you should know
how you have changed the season
never before did i believe
that things happen for a reason

but you have awakened eyes
once so apathetic and dead
please come closer to me
and repeat the words you have said

i am humbled and i am gracious
having discovered this newfound glee
and the story of the first autumn,
will always bring a smile to me.


created Tuesday, November 11, 2008

night

night is a reflector,
my own worst enemy.
it is a mirror staring me in the face,
reflecting the cold hard truth
of the world i do embrace.


created Wednesday, November 12, 2008

part of you

she is still a part of you no matter what you say
and i feel i can't compare
from your extensive history
to the color of her hair
and it's hard for me to be
who i want to be
because someone already occupied that space
that someone was never me
and i know you say it's not the case
that it's all so real and new
but you don't understand that
she's still part of you
and once was everything i now want to be.
so you should know how i feel
except i keep my lips sealed
solely for the fear that you will turn away
run back to her
a glutton for punishment
but you'd only be punishing me
for all those years of history
and a part of you i'll never be.


created Monday, November 24, 2008

believe

and what is one without,
the simplest of how it comes about,
the constant entity of something
that many fail to believe
like the wind through the trees
is everything i thought it to be.
exception of fear
in which holds back the truth
and betrays the destiny
of the becoming
how little do we understand,
or i for that matter
of the error in our ways
conversely,
are we flawed in such dark thought?
gates of caution repressing the flood
would love not be love without blood?
how exactly do we speculate
facing the challenge every day
while some are broken and some are meek
for it's enternally common the solace we seek
so the long while is, the journey i tread
holding softly onto the words my heart once said
as a mere child unknowingly
staring into the hopeful eyes of glee
and an imending dream of what may very well happen to me.
so...do we believe?
take these truths to our hearts,
while the world simply tears them apart?
it is until one discovers
among the risk of fading fate
for strife in turn will bring wonder,
eternity sings in the earth so under,
to the souls entwined in what's meant to be
only upon such a love are we truly free.


created Tuesday, December 2, 2008

eternal

if i never get the chance
to live so in this life
will its lesson appear to me,
through all the pain and strife?
will the gods scream my name,
as they sift through all the clouds?
what truths do i now see?
will i simply know somehow?
the skies are awakening
to the dawn of a new dream.
deeply profound and powerful,
it becomes so clear to me,
that even through death
and detachment from earth
renders a life renewed,
the journey of our rebirth
one may not know of themselves in short time
but the day always comes
in footsteps so inclined...
to discover who we are
and who we were back then
to relight the eternal flame,
and live all over again.
only the release of fear
that mankind holds so deep
may give us the gift of life,
the one in which we keep.

created Tuesday, December 9, 2008